Rubber Santa!

Rubber Santa illustration by fetishman

My friend Keef Baker has written an Xmas song:

The lyrics to Rubber Santa < listen!

*Spoken*
So I was making my way back from the fetish night after a particularly successful threesome with the chuckle brothers. I was walking along and found that I still had the baby pacifier in my anus. It popped out with a very very happy feeling like it was being kissed by angels, and then I saw the man I’d been waiting for. I’d been bad all year, just so I could see him. It was Rubber Santa

=Verse 1=
He’s got a mince pie but it’s filled with shit
He’s got a mince pie but it’s filled with shit
He’s got a mince pie but it’s filled with shit
He’s gonna make you fucking eat it.

He’s got a nice hat but it’s covered in spikes
He’s got a nice hat but it’s covered in spikes
He’s got a nice hat but it’s covered in spikes
It’s gonna go where the fuck he likes

=Chorus=
If you’ve been a very bad boy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
If you sold your soul for a toy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa

=Verse 2=
He stinks of death and his eyes are black
He stinks of death and his eyes are black
He stinks of death and his eyes are black
He’s gonna cut off your nutsack

He’s got a Christmas tree of dung
He’s got a Christmas tree of dung
He’s got a Christmas tree of dung
He’ll make you clean it with your tongue

=Chorus=
If you’ve been a very bad boy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
If you sold your soul for a toy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa

*spoken in a weird voice*
Feel the Christmas lights bleeding out of your ears. Isn’t it just a sight to behold. Just feel that turkey cutting off your tongue with it’s beak. It’s all thanks to Rubber Santa.
He’s beautiful.
Every moment of your life you are judged, you’re examined to see if you’re bad or good. And if you are bad he will come and give you your prize.
A prize of suffering.

*Spoken*
So I was making my way back from the fetish night after a particularly successful threesome with the Chuckle Brothers. I was walking along and found that I still had the baby pacifier in my anus. It popped out with a very very happy feeling like it was being kissed by angels, and then I saw the man I’d been waiting for. I’d been bad all year, just so I could see him. It was Rubber Santa

=Chorus=
If you’ve been a very bad boy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
If you sold your soul for a toy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
If you’ve been a very bad boy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
If you sold your soul for a toy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa

You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
Rubber Santa
Rubber Santa