Sunday, 30 December 2007
Friday, 28 December 2007
what song/s never fail/s to cheer you up?
For me the obvious one is Goldfrapp's-Twist, this song totally kicks me into a happy high. I love the undulating twisted ride, the building ecstacy, and squealing and screaming to a roaring climax. WOW! Unbeatable.
Thursday, 27 December 2007
grappling to make any sense of it all
- Benazir Bhutto has been assasinated. That's officially Not Good. This pictures speaks volumes:
-Feeling guilty for tinterweb piracy? Put it right! - the Axl Rose letter had me weeping!
-Oh yeah Xmas, I asked for a Torchwood Calendar and money towards a CD player(all mine are buggered), I didn't get those, but I did get some gorgeous black leather opera gloves and some Champneys products. Also a Chanel lipgloss, a book on herbalism, Lush products and some chocolates oh and a £10 HMV voucher :-)
-My car door blew violently open last night and I think a hinge has broken :-( £££
-I have put 8lbs on since I had the op. Bah. Must not over-eat must not over-eat must not over-eat must not over-eat must not over-eat.
and the sounds of this suburb is The Chameleons-In Shreds:
I don't know why I thought learning Judo self-defense moves, drunk at 4am, with a drunk Wayne (so called as he makes me walk like John Wayne ;P) was a good idea. I look like a battered wife from all the bruises (!) BUT I can push someone headlong over a coffee table with 2 fingers *hurrah*. Hopefully the need for coffee table assualt positioning won't ever arise! I actually enjoy grappling, that's something if I wasn't a bleeder I would have liked to do more of. Grappling and wrestling! Even with prophylaxsis I daren't take that many chances, kids now on prophy live fairly normal lives and even do contact sports. Maybe it's something I should consider branching out into. I love throwing my weight around lol!
Christ I ache, but in a good way ;)Any other bleeders out there (ok Ros and Jae lol), what would you have liked to do more of/try if you weren't restricted by your health condition? Or have you ever thrown caution to the wind and just done something 'risky' anyway?
ION:
-Oh yeah Xmas, I asked for a Torchwood Calendar and money towards a CD player(all mine are buggered), I didn't get those, but I did get some gorgeous black leather opera gloves and some Champneys products. Also a Chanel lipgloss, a book on herbalism, Lush products and some chocolates oh and a £10 HMV voucher :-)
-My car door blew violently open last night and I think a hinge has broken :-( £££
-I have put 8lbs on since I had the op. Bah. Must not over-eat must not over-eat must not over-eat must not over-eat must not over-eat.
and the sounds of this suburb is The Chameleons-In Shreds:
Tuesday, 25 December 2007
Some of you may recall that I am adopted, so in the spirit of cheer I present to you some of my birth family, which really speaks volumes for the argument that nature has more influence than nurture!
l-r:nephew, half-sis, her hubby, niece!
I think there was much wrongness in my local last night, hell we have local pubs for local people nuff said.
Sunday, 23 December 2007
Saturday, 22 December 2007
Today
Had a majorly unproductive day today. YAY! Michael's coming over but he's REALLY late! YAY! We were going to go out to the local but I might crack open the Hammer box set instead. My dad rang me and has been really terribly supportive, which has cancelled out mother being a moo. Treble YAY!
Yule do as you're told
Well I've just been to get my Xmas food shop(which is basically the same as every other weeks food shop but with more vodka). Even skag eads shop at 2am it would seem. The ASDA(WALMART) is only shut for 2 days, there MUST be muchos waste at Christmas time people have been on the supermarket buying frenzy for weeks. Who eats it all?
I have been on family only Xmas alert this year due to drop in monski, but managed to FAIL in The ghastly White Rose Centre today by being mysteriously lured into Evans and Debenhams and buying myself a pair of jeans and a Chanel lip-gloss :-/, that's hardly the heart of frugal behaviour is it? (I know I have to go back to work to feed made Chanel make-up habit. I jest.I have to go back cos of the debts. Everything just feels so tainted regarding work, but I've promised myself not to dwell, I've made a decision to proceed with grievance, relax and just try for internal jobs that I fancy. I'm not going to just take anything, I don't want to act in haste and repent at leisure but I feel a bit desperate, ok a LOT desperate-I don't seem to handle conflict well. Also I feel conflicted internally as my mum and I 'fell-out' last week she said things down the phone 'your on the scrapheap of life' 'look at all your friends with careers overtaking you'. She also said things like 'who'd give you a job with your time off sick', like it hadn't fucking occured to me. I terminated the call just as she shreiked 'YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK FULL TIME', just like I was taught to in a call centre. I feel very isolated.(She hasn't been returning my calls).And that my friends just sends me into a downward sprial of negativity and total self-doubt, and I've been crying more.I've been much more content of late, more stable and this is just making me feel like er shit. I wish I had no emotions, to be an automaton must be divine.
I nearly entered a competition today but the prise was £3000 to spend in Primark and really none of their clothes will ever fit me, even if I rule in the luck of me winning a major roll-over in the Lottery and had muchos surgery would they fit me, not that I could have surgery cos of the bleeding. Hmmm. I didn't enter. I'd be suprised if anyone would be able to spend £3000 in Primark, I bought my bro Sol 2 tops and a pair of trews there the other week and even that only came to £14!
In Other Tedious (mainly medical) News: I had 2 hospital appointments today, collected 3 prescriptions and had an injection of 5000 units of Factor VIII, (and have been to 4 shops, which almost felt like work not leisure!).I forgot to take my Depo Provera jab so another large dose of factor in the offing to prevent the muscle bleed. Oh and my chest infection is now clearing up, the Drs put me on a third course of anti-biotics, I've had a 3 day headache and a 24 hour nosebleed(not heavy just an n-oozebleed), I have vaginal thrush(which I get from anti-biotics and Depo Provera) my good ankle is feeling bad and my bad ankle has put in a grievance about the cold damp weather, and my gastro-intestinal tract has decided to bleed some more, which was a suprise given the 100% Factor VII levels. Hell, weeks like these were made for the pharmaceuticals anti-depressant/painkiller/blood product market!
I'm glad I've missed all the work Xmas do's, I don't feel even vaguely festive. At least by leaving the small black Xmas tree up all year I've saved myself the job of ' seasonaly decorating' the house.
Anyway I'm off to neck some numby pills and get some sleep.
Love and light y'all, it's Yule man :)
Laters x
I have been on family only Xmas alert this year due to drop in monski, but managed to FAIL in The ghastly White Rose Centre today by being mysteriously lured into Evans and Debenhams and buying myself a pair of jeans and a Chanel lip-gloss :-/, that's hardly the heart of frugal behaviour is it? (I know I have to go back to work to feed made Chanel make-up habit. I jest.I have to go back cos of the debts. Everything just feels so tainted regarding work, but I've promised myself not to dwell, I've made a decision to proceed with grievance, relax and just try for internal jobs that I fancy. I'm not going to just take anything, I don't want to act in haste and repent at leisure but I feel a bit desperate, ok a LOT desperate-I don't seem to handle conflict well. Also I feel conflicted internally as my mum and I 'fell-out' last week she said things down the phone 'your on the scrapheap of life' 'look at all your friends with careers overtaking you'. She also said things like 'who'd give you a job with your time off sick', like it hadn't fucking occured to me. I terminated the call just as she shreiked 'YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK FULL TIME', just like I was taught to in a call centre. I feel very isolated.(She hasn't been returning my calls).And that my friends just sends me into a downward sprial of negativity and total self-doubt, and I've been crying more.I've been much more content of late, more stable and this is just making me feel like er shit. I wish I had no emotions, to be an automaton must be divine.
I nearly entered a competition today but the prise was £3000 to spend in Primark and really none of their clothes will ever fit me, even if I rule in the luck of me winning a major roll-over in the Lottery and had muchos surgery would they fit me, not that I could have surgery cos of the bleeding. Hmmm. I didn't enter. I'd be suprised if anyone would be able to spend £3000 in Primark, I bought my bro Sol 2 tops and a pair of trews there the other week and even that only came to £14!
In Other Tedious (mainly medical) News: I had 2 hospital appointments today, collected 3 prescriptions and had an injection of 5000 units of Factor VIII, (and have been to 4 shops, which almost felt like work not leisure!).I forgot to take my Depo Provera jab so another large dose of factor in the offing to prevent the muscle bleed. Oh and my chest infection is now clearing up, the Drs put me on a third course of anti-biotics, I've had a 3 day headache and a 24 hour nosebleed(not heavy just an n-oozebleed), I have vaginal thrush(which I get from anti-biotics and Depo Provera) my good ankle is feeling bad and my bad ankle has put in a grievance about the cold damp weather, and my gastro-intestinal tract has decided to bleed some more, which was a suprise given the 100% Factor VII levels. Hell, weeks like these were made for the pharmaceuticals anti-depressant/painkiller/blood product market!
I'm glad I've missed all the work Xmas do's, I don't feel even vaguely festive. At least by leaving the small black Xmas tree up all year I've saved myself the job of ' seasonaly decorating' the house.
Anyway I'm off to neck some numby pills and get some sleep.
Love and light y'all, it's Yule man :)
Laters x
The Barrowman rides again
Jamie's review of John Barrowman as Alladin:
"How ever you can get to Birmingham, get to the Hippodrome and see JB in Aladdin.
He is obscenely gorgeous.
He exudes energy.
He is obscenely talented.
What can't he do?
*sigh* *drools* *melts*
And there aren't many people who can make me melt.
Yes, I'm jealous of his energy and gorgeousness. In a nice way.
In the theatre cafe beforehand I was chatting with a family group, gran, mom and son. The gran asked me "Did John Barrowman make you come?" I just nodded and smiled ;).
Surrounded by groups of kids I had to control my "mrrrow" and "purrrrr" output."
"How ever you can get to Birmingham, get to the Hippodrome and see JB in Aladdin.
He is obscenely gorgeous.
He exudes energy.
He is obscenely talented.
What can't he do?
*sigh* *drools* *melts*
And there aren't many people who can make me melt.
Yes, I'm jealous of his energy and gorgeousness. In a nice way.
In the theatre cafe beforehand I was chatting with a family group, gran, mom and son. The gran asked me "Did John Barrowman make you come?" I just nodded and smiled ;).
Surrounded by groups of kids I had to control my "mrrrow" and "purrrrr" output."
Thursday, 20 December 2007
boot applying to arse time
The work things gotten all f**ked up. I'm putting in a formal grievance.
Spilling confidential information about a member of staff is completely against any decent HR policy and spilling personal medical information is even considered discriminatory. The tone of the email that went to 7 members of staff(but interestingly excluded me) "and has more or less been off-sick since then" is extremely perjorative and she should have stuck to the facts. Not that they were her facts to spread.
The more I read the whole email, the more shocked I become, she has disclosed EVERY confidential item of information regarding my employment history! 13 personal facts, in-fact.
I've been feeling fairly stable for a while but this is just knocking me for 6.I do feel picked on.I'm dreading going back to work.I feel like I'm being forced out.My small rant(that I deleted last week) was about my mother not being supportive, actually worse than 'not supportive'.
On a positive note - I did apply for another job today.
Spilling confidential information about a member of staff is completely against any decent HR policy and spilling personal medical information is even considered discriminatory. The tone of the email that went to 7 members of staff(but interestingly excluded me) "and has more or less been off-sick since then" is extremely perjorative and she should have stuck to the facts. Not that they were her facts to spread.
The more I read the whole email, the more shocked I become, she has disclosed EVERY confidential item of information regarding my employment history! 13 personal facts, in-fact.
I've been feeling fairly stable for a while but this is just knocking me for 6.I do feel picked on.I'm dreading going back to work.I feel like I'm being forced out.My small rant(that I deleted last week) was about my mother not being supportive, actually worse than 'not supportive'.
On a positive note - I did apply for another job today.
Wednesday, 19 December 2007
reflections meme
1. Was 2007 a good year for you?
ha ha, it could have been much worse. To be fair the medical shit was er shit, but I am fairly content right now.
2. What was your favorite moment of the year?
The Stooges gig, Whitby, The Violets gig, Club Lash in the spring, kareoke at Bens, most time with friends etc etc
3. What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Just one?! Having problems with mood disorder/depression Jan-May. FINALLY giving up Dave(he being like crack-cocaine to the soul and loins). Having 3 lots of surgery and 5 stays(28 nights) in hospital. Concurrently bleeding from every orifice(except ears!) and being in acute unearthly pain was pretty scary.
4. What are your plans for 2008?
To stay alive. To really live, not just exist. To enjoy. To love and be loved.
5. What countries did you visit?
England, Scotland, Germany
6. What date/s in 2007 will remain etched in your memory?
Friday 31st August,15th September, 6/26/27/28th Oct AND my friend Dougs marriage in May, shoot me for forgetting the exact date :-/
7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
probably being alive today (nicked that straight off ![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
sturmed )
8. What was your biggest failure?
Getting v stressed about dying in hospital!
9. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
LOL, er yeah see q 3, oh and today having a chest Xray as I'm into the 5th week of a-more-on-than-off-selectively-anti-biotic-resistant-chest-infection
10. What was the best thing you bought?
um Bright Eyes-Cassadaga has given me immense pleasure
11. Who's behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
No one person did both.
12. Where did most of your money go?
Bills
13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The March Violets gig ;)
14. What songs will always remind you of 2007?
Any Jackie Leven, The Stooges-I Wanna Be Your Dog, New Model Army-Green and Grey, Joy Division Atmosphere, Bright Eyes-Cassadaga album, NiN-Year Zero album, The March Violets-Cut Down Pretty, seeing NiN performe live Hurt was one of the two songs that nearly made me cry ;), ok so maybe I did cry.
15. Compared to this time last year are you:
a) Fatter or thinner? Less fat
b) Happier or sadder? Happier
c) Richer or poorer? Poorer
16. What do you wish you'd done more of?
gigs, movies, socialising, exercise, laughing, making the effort to get outta town, cooking great healthy meals
17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
hospitals, crying, hiding under duvet
18. How will you be spending Christmas?
I go to the parents for a few hours eat, be merry, drive home, then drink. Probably.
19. Which LJ/MySpace users did you meet for the first time?
None (but I did meet the jpt from Blogger :))
20. Did you fall in love in 2007?
whatever!
21. How many one night stands?
3
22. What was your favourite TV show?
Torchwood, Heroes
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I'm too lazy for hate
24. What was/were the best books you read?
My Dirty Little Book Of Stolen Time-Liz Jensen-thanks gillywoo !
Secret History-Donna Tartt thanks bookclub and gillywoo
The Torchwood books - yeah I'm sad
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Bat For Lashes, Holy Fuck, Client, Explosions In The Sky, The Auteurs(-belatedly!)
26. What did you want and get?
An AV fistula that works! An mp3 player thanks da woo! Bongos. Happier. To see The March Violets live.
27. What did you want and not get?
Mutual-in-loveness, a tom-tom, a cd player, new flooring in the kitchen, a fixed door, a fridge freezer.
28. What was your favourite film this year?
Closer and Atonement
29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I was 36 and got completely fucked at Whitby Golf Weekend, then the next night had some kareoke with friends :).
30. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
more self-confidence/self-belief/self-worth and less ill-health
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
FuCKed!
32. What kept you sane?
Meds.Friends.Hope. Thank you :)
33. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
I'm currently jacking off about Peter Petrelli, I know - who isn't?
34. Which political issue stirred you the most?
Mugabe and his persistence to live and fuck people/Zimbabwe over
35. Who did you miss?
Oh loads, friends that have moved away mostly.I've done well not to mention Dave more than once yet and I'm suprising myself by NOT missing what we had.
36. Did you treat somebody badly in 2007?
Allegedly.(I dumped someone)
37. Did somebody treat you badly in 2006?
Yeah, see above lol.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year?
I have such a joie de vivre and for so long it's been in bondage, yay for it's liberation(and bondage in the bedroom!)
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year...
"When panic grips your body and your heart is a hummingbird,
Raven thoughts blacken your mind until you're breathing in reverse,
All your friends and sedatives, mean well, but make it worse,
Every reassurance just magnifies the doubt,
Better find yourself a place to level out."
If The Brakeman Turns My Way-Bright Eyes
The weekend:
Wendyhouse
Rubber Santa!
Rubber Santa illustration by fetishman
My friend Keef Baker has written an Xmas song:
The lyrics to Rubber Santa < listen!
*Spoken*
So I was making my way back from the fetish night after a particularly successful threesome with the chuckle brothers. I was walking along and found that I still had the baby pacifier in my anus. It popped out with a very very happy feeling like it was being kissed by angels, and then I saw the man I’d been waiting for. I’d been bad all year, just so I could see him. It was Rubber Santa
=Verse 1=
He’s got a mince pie but it’s filled with shit
He’s got a mince pie but it’s filled with shit
He’s got a mince pie but it’s filled with shit
He’s gonna make you fucking eat it.
He’s got a nice hat but it’s covered in spikes
He’s got a nice hat but it’s covered in spikes
He’s got a nice hat but it’s covered in spikes
It’s gonna go where the fuck he likes
=Chorus=
If you’ve been a very bad boy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
If you sold your soul for a toy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
=Verse 2=
He stinks of death and his eyes are black
He stinks of death and his eyes are black
He stinks of death and his eyes are black
He’s gonna cut off your nutsack
He’s got a Christmas tree of dung
He’s got a Christmas tree of dung
He’s got a Christmas tree of dung
He’ll make you clean it with your tongue
=Chorus=
If you’ve been a very bad boy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
If you sold your soul for a toy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
*spoken in a weird voice*
Feel the Christmas lights bleeding out of your ears. Isn’t it just a sight to behold. Just feel that turkey cutting off your tongue with it’s beak. It’s all thanks to Rubber Santa.
He’s beautiful.
Every moment of your life you are judged, you’re examined to see if you’re bad or good. And if you are bad he will come and give you your prize.
A prize of suffering.
*Spoken*
So I was making my way back from the fetish night after a particularly successful threesome with the Chuckle Brothers. I was walking along and found that I still had the baby pacifier in my anus. It popped out with a very very happy feeling like it was being kissed by angels, and then I saw the man I’d been waiting for. I’d been bad all year, just so I could see him. It was Rubber Santa
=Chorus=
If you’ve been a very bad boy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
If you sold your soul for a toy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
If you’ve been a very bad boy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
If you sold your soul for a toy
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
You’ll get him, Rubber Santa
Rubber Santa
Rubber Santa
Thursday, 13 December 2007
Fire On Babylon
I just remembered from the meeting yesterday:
boss: 'I feel a bit guilty buying cheap shit clothes made in a sweatshop, exploiting ppl'(but she still does!)
NHS Human Resources Manager 'oh that doesn't matter'
...absolutely priceless!
They all sit and discuss things around me, it's funny though although these meetings often end up shouty(usually Union Rep shouting at our somewhat incompetent leader) they seem to have fallen into line now and are EXCEPTIONALLY reasonable, which really is a turn-tail from the first meeting :).
*edit* My mother and birth mother rang me up this week. Both managed to fuck me off. I wrote a great big diatribe about it here but deleted it out of guilt and shame.
"Oh yes a change has come":
That song speaks my emotive volumes clearer.
Managed to miss the bookclub cos for some reason I thought yesterday was Tuesday.Doh! Next book is : Jennifer Government by Max Barry, it's sci-fi and sounds quite interesting.
And Patrick Wolf in on Never Mind The Buzzcocks 9pm tonight. - *edit* oh bless his lovely little glittery head doing This Charming Man wiv bells and beads!
boss: 'I feel a bit guilty buying cheap shit clothes made in a sweatshop, exploiting ppl'(but she still does!)
NHS Human Resources Manager 'oh that doesn't matter'
...absolutely priceless!
They all sit and discuss things around me, it's funny though although these meetings often end up shouty(usually Union Rep shouting at our somewhat incompetent leader) they seem to have fallen into line now and are EXCEPTIONALLY reasonable, which really is a turn-tail from the first meeting :).
*edit* My mother and birth mother rang me up this week. Both managed to fuck me off. I wrote a great big diatribe about it here but deleted it out of guilt and shame.
"Oh yes a change has come":
That song speaks my emotive volumes clearer.
Managed to miss the bookclub cos for some reason I thought yesterday was Tuesday.Doh! Next book is : Jennifer Government by Max Barry, it's sci-fi and sounds quite interesting.
And Patrick Wolf in on Never Mind The Buzzcocks 9pm tonight. - *edit* oh bless his lovely little glittery head doing This Charming Man wiv bells and beads!
Wednesday, 12 December 2007
Hilary Briss special
In the summer of 2005 a 16 year old boy told his parents that he was gay. Their response was to send him to a fundamentalist Christian camp. He blogged about his experiences on his Myspace page. When his friends read about what he was going through, this is what happened ...
Had work meeting this afty/eve, presented myself and said providing bug gone I can be back on Monday. Small problem, I haven't got a desk anymore! Can I come back on the 2nd of January?! Well, of course! ;) The PCT has decided to try and move an extra 45 people into a building already too small and they are trying to force people to hotdesk.I'm sure that works fine for some individuals teams, but we are providing a service and are very resource heavy so I'm not sure how that will work, we can't move 3 tall-boys worth of resources round the building every week lol. Apparently if the PCT haven't found me a permanent desk the Union will take the PCT to a tribuneral under the Disability Discrimination Act.I sit in these meetings sometimes and wonder how they get so bloody complicated?! Its bonkers, so now I have to tell my Dr to sign me off and then sign me back as fit for work on the 2nd Jan.It's all the wrong way round.
Oh and the snot-fest is making my nose bleed, muchly. Off back to bed with some biscuits.
Tuesday, 11 December 2007
Gods Own Medicine?
I'm thinking of going to a Mission gig in February 08. Night one or two. You couldn't pay me to go to a gig where they played Children and beyond... Shame there's only one original band member left(I'd feel a bit fraudulent if I were they).I wonder if Hussey will wear a silly hat and dark shades for old times sake? The Mission were the third live band I ever saw, I think, although to be fair my memory's getting a little hazy. I can't remember if it was 1986/7, but am fairly sure it was the Gods Own Medicine Tour and All About Eve were supporting, but that could've been the second time I saw them at Leeds Uni. I think the first gig was at Leeds Poly. BAH to being an old bastard and having a holey collander for a memory! Either way it was a GREAT gig and I knew all the words to all the songs. Oh, if only life were so simple!
Cough, ear-ache and temperature back on with a vengeance, as predicted after my 'not looking after myself carnage' of Sat night. At least I'm cracking on with The Secret History by Donna Tart, bookclubs's tomorow, or Thursday, I can't remember. Michael rang and I got to verbally meet Miguel :).
Work meeting tomorrow at 4pm=Bollocks. I'm signed off sick till Monday.
I'll fast forward to Friday wehere I hope to be well enough to enjoy The Smiths and Joy Div tribute night.May just do gig and come straight home.If Kerry and Mark aren't going (I bloody hope they are!) I guess I could head on to Club Lash, it's a kinky tartan theme.I have nothing but a tartan headband. I guess I could be a Campbells Meatball?
Sat it's potentially The Spear Of Destiny and Wendyhouse, but I'm hanging fire with plans till I know I'm feeling ok. I've turned down the opportunity to see VNV Nation in Sheffield again, on Sat.
Cough, ear-ache and temperature back on with a vengeance, as predicted after my 'not looking after myself carnage' of Sat night. At least I'm cracking on with The Secret History by Donna Tart, bookclubs's tomorow, or Thursday, I can't remember. Michael rang and I got to verbally meet Miguel :).
Work meeting tomorrow at 4pm=Bollocks. I'm signed off sick till Monday.
I'll fast forward to Friday wehere I hope to be well enough to enjoy The Smiths and Joy Div tribute night.May just do gig and come straight home.If Kerry and Mark aren't going (I bloody hope they are!) I guess I could head on to Club Lash, it's a kinky tartan theme.I have nothing but a tartan headband. I guess I could be a Campbells Meatball?
Sat it's potentially The Spear Of Destiny and Wendyhouse, but I'm hanging fire with plans till I know I'm feeling ok. I've turned down the opportunity to see VNV Nation in Sheffield again, on Sat.
Also, I'd love to see this crack: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/11/arts/design/11crac.html?ex=1355029200&en=0005c55b743ea743&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss - crack sells!
x
Sunday, 9 December 2007
blood runs through our veins...that's where our similarity ends
The March Violets.
Totally surreal.
Conflicting emotions.
You're stood there listening to a band that you're bang into, who broke up before you got into them. I was beaming like a broken fangirl, but something just felt too wrong/too retro. I felt like I was gonna break open a rift in the space-time continuum just being party to it. Is anything possible? Don't get me wrong I enjoyed/loved the gig. I just felt out of time. And out of place. It was a bit like sex with an ex, there's still something intangible drawing you there, it's just not quite right anymore. Do you know what I mean? They did the whole back catalogue, sounded exactly how they sound on record, and did 4(?) new songs. I was 3 rows from the front and the mosh pit wasn't too violent, until the last 3 songs(I moved!). I really don't get why boys at gigs have to be such total knobs sometimes, violence at gigs ain't big and it ain't clever. The Riot grrrl ethos faded fast from the gig-going consciousness m'afraid.It was a meak gig for the moshing really, I just don't know why some folk quite literally haven to throw their weight around? This really isn't a gripe with The Violets gig, just a general ongoing, gig-going gripe.Maybe I'm just getting old, lol!
Most notably I re-met 'big gay Michael', my dear old friend, who I lost touch with apx 8yrs ago due to me not being able to understand him. He'd not changed his first language it was just the drugs took over (him lol) and we couldn't get to a meaningful sentence between us. We lost touch accidently. We were a bit crap to be honest. Anyway, I saw him and burst into tears of joy and now we're back in touch, simple. If I'm honest though between his expressions of pure genius and/or wrongness I've still no idea what's going on, but that doesn't seem so important anymore ;).We've had some amazingly hilarious journies and I'd trust that man with my life. I'm off to see his mum and dad, and meet his boyfriend over Xmas.He's in love. We talked of the fragility of that state. It's good to see him happy and loved. I was so ardent in my exasperated attempts to ensure that we wouldn't lose touch again I even gave him my mums telephone number, lol masochist? Maybe.My mum taught him flower arranging. Oh Christ, his grandma, what a woman, we reminisced about her drunkenly crashing his party and making everyone Harvey Wallbangers. Also finding the pavlova me and Mike had hidden in the washing machine so we could selfishly indulge when everyone else had left, only gran had already put her smalls in there LOL(we really hadn't noticed)! Her sprightly statement of "There's a pavlova in mi gusset" will haunt me till my dying day! (delivered in the finest Liverpudlian accent).
Why did I eat toilet paper?
There's an endless checklist of people I met/chatted with and I'm just journalling this for my benefit of my dire memory: Sir Ann(who kindly showed me lots of pictures of pervs from Club Lash and Pete Wiley from The Mighty Wah), Chad and Angela-the lovecats, the ever wonderful Mark and Kerry, Linzi, my delightful Gilly, Ian,Chris Tofu, Jason C, Little Steve, Vicky, Fraggle, Glenny, Ian Sturmed(who's a really nice ((single)) bloke, AND he remembered me FAVOURABLY despite me drunkenly pinching his ass at Whitby and possibly the only person I may have offended in the whole evening LOL! Top marks H), Tricia, Tom, John dj, Claire, Clare, Phono Clare, Sarah-peddle or pebble?, Dawn, Jeane, other Kerry, Pete, Mike the vegan, Big Daz, Martin Laaaarner, Madrid Marco, and the old Batfish Boys road crew from Bedford, (Georgie, Richard, Danny, Benoit-from Salvation), the dj from Club Lash who's kilt I looked up-I apologised retrospectively for this and forseeably, just in case I do it again ;). Oddly Mick Brown from The Mission's wife was selling TMV t-shirts. Michael tried to give her his page of poetry...LOLOL! Oh and I made Tom Ashton from The Violets feel my vibrating arm. I have no idea why? My, how that arm gets around. Oh, and Simon D spoke to me(small 'oooh'!), nothing too involved or heavy, well just 'big t-shirts for fat people', this seems to be a recurring theme in our communication.
Mikey/Nikitta quite frankly looked bored shitless at (many)junctures during the evening(and his 5" heels were killing him), this's what happens when an old goth meets lots of other old goths I guess - for around 3 hours I just shuffled between smoking area and loo and back, with about 50 million chat stops. Perfect! Not so perfect was some of these people may not have seen me since I was 19, drunk and high and I'm kinda wondering what's changed. Hmm.
I'm a bit numb. It's also 8.22 am and I've not slept yet. Despite my chest infection and temperature I did well(I will suffer dearly now though). Also (I do hope somewhat successfully, but it is the taking part that counts) I managed to carry off PVC, leather, cat ears, a hairpiece, sequins, black and silver false eyelashes and pearls. I just love wearing a pearl necklace.
Give me one good reason, give me my s....
Coming down, I need a bath, blah blah blah, wash the sin away, relax.
Totally surreal.
Conflicting emotions.
You're stood there listening to a band that you're bang into, who broke up before you got into them. I was beaming like a broken fangirl, but something just felt too wrong/too retro. I felt like I was gonna break open a rift in the space-time continuum just being party to it. Is anything possible? Don't get me wrong I enjoyed/loved the gig. I just felt out of time. And out of place. It was a bit like sex with an ex, there's still something intangible drawing you there, it's just not quite right anymore. Do you know what I mean? They did the whole back catalogue, sounded exactly how they sound on record, and did 4(?) new songs. I was 3 rows from the front and the mosh pit wasn't too violent, until the last 3 songs(I moved!). I really don't get why boys at gigs have to be such total knobs sometimes, violence at gigs ain't big and it ain't clever. The Riot grrrl ethos faded fast from the gig-going consciousness m'afraid.It was a meak gig for the moshing really, I just don't know why some folk quite literally haven to throw their weight around? This really isn't a gripe with The Violets gig, just a general ongoing, gig-going gripe.Maybe I'm just getting old, lol!
Most notably I re-met 'big gay Michael', my dear old friend, who I lost touch with apx 8yrs ago due to me not being able to understand him. He'd not changed his first language it was just the drugs took over (him lol) and we couldn't get to a meaningful sentence between us. We lost touch accidently. We were a bit crap to be honest. Anyway, I saw him and burst into tears of joy and now we're back in touch, simple. If I'm honest though between his expressions of pure genius and/or wrongness I've still no idea what's going on, but that doesn't seem so important anymore ;).We've had some amazingly hilarious journies and I'd trust that man with my life. I'm off to see his mum and dad, and meet his boyfriend over Xmas.He's in love. We talked of the fragility of that state. It's good to see him happy and loved. I was so ardent in my exasperated attempts to ensure that we wouldn't lose touch again I even gave him my mums telephone number, lol masochist? Maybe.My mum taught him flower arranging. Oh Christ, his grandma, what a woman, we reminisced about her drunkenly crashing his party and making everyone Harvey Wallbangers. Also finding the pavlova me and Mike had hidden in the washing machine so we could selfishly indulge when everyone else had left, only gran had already put her smalls in there LOL(we really hadn't noticed)! Her sprightly statement of "There's a pavlova in mi gusset" will haunt me till my dying day! (delivered in the finest Liverpudlian accent).
Why did I eat toilet paper?
There's an endless checklist of people I met/chatted with and I'm just journalling this for my benefit of my dire memory: Sir Ann(who kindly showed me lots of pictures of pervs from Club Lash and Pete Wiley from The Mighty Wah), Chad and Angela-the lovecats, the ever wonderful Mark and Kerry, Linzi, my delightful Gilly, Ian,Chris Tofu, Jason C, Little Steve, Vicky, Fraggle, Glenny, Ian Sturmed(who's a really nice ((single)) bloke, AND he remembered me FAVOURABLY despite me drunkenly pinching his ass at Whitby and possibly the only person I may have offended in the whole evening LOL! Top marks H), Tricia, Tom, John dj, Claire, Clare, Phono Clare, Sarah-peddle or pebble?, Dawn, Jeane, other Kerry, Pete, Mike the vegan, Big Daz, Martin Laaaarner, Madrid Marco, and the old Batfish Boys road crew from Bedford, (Georgie, Richard, Danny, Benoit-from Salvation), the dj from Club Lash who's kilt I looked up-I apologised retrospectively for this and forseeably, just in case I do it again ;). Oddly Mick Brown from The Mission's wife was selling TMV t-shirts. Michael tried to give her his page of poetry...LOLOL! Oh and I made Tom Ashton from The Violets feel my vibrating arm. I have no idea why? My, how that arm gets around. Oh, and Simon D spoke to me(small 'oooh'!), nothing too involved or heavy, well just 'big t-shirts for fat people', this seems to be a recurring theme in our communication.
Mikey/Nikitta quite frankly looked bored shitless at (many)junctures during the evening(and his 5" heels were killing him), this's what happens when an old goth meets lots of other old goths I guess - for around 3 hours I just shuffled between smoking area and loo and back, with about 50 million chat stops. Perfect! Not so perfect was some of these people may not have seen me since I was 19, drunk and high and I'm kinda wondering what's changed. Hmm.
I'm a bit numb. It's also 8.22 am and I've not slept yet. Despite my chest infection and temperature I did well(I will suffer dearly now though). Also (I do hope somewhat successfully, but it is the taking part that counts) I managed to carry off PVC, leather, cat ears, a hairpiece, sequins, black and silver false eyelashes and pearls. I just love wearing a pearl necklace.
Give me one good reason, give me my s....
Coming down, I need a bath, blah blah blah, wash the sin away, relax.
Saturday, 8 December 2007
OMFG I have nothing to wear!
lol PVC with a temperature, what am I thinking?!
So 25 years later here we are. KICKING!
The March Violets - A Natural History
Hitler Becomes Dictator...
After the elections of March 5, 1933, the Nazis began a systematic takeover of the state governments throughout Germany, ending a centuries old tradition of local political independence. Armed SA and SS thugs barged into local government offices using the state of emergency decree as a pretext to throw out legitimate office holders and replace them with Nazi Reich commissioners.
Political enemies were arrested by the thousands and put in hastily constructed holding pens. Old army barracks and abandoned factories were used as prisons. Once inside, prisoners were subjected to military style drills and harsh discipline. They were often beaten and sometimes even tortured to death. This was the very beginning of the Nazi concentration camp system.
At this time, these early concentration camps were loosely organized under the control of the SA and the rival SS. Many were little more than barbed wire stockades know as 'wild' concentration camps, set up by local Gauleiters and SA leaders.
For Adolf Hitler, the goal of a legally established dictatorship was now within reach. On March 15, 1933, a cabinet meeting was held during which Hitler and Göring discussed how to obstruct what was left of the democratic process to get an Enabling Act passed by the Reichstag. This law would hand over the constitutional functions of the Reichstag to Hitler, including the power to make laws, control the budget and approve treaties with foreign governments.
The emergency decree signed by Hindenburg on February 28, after the Reichstag fire, made it easy for them to interfere with non-Nazi elected representatives of the people by simply arresting them.
As Hitler plotted to bring democracy to an end in Germany, Propaganda Minister Joseph Goebbels put together a brilliant public relations display at the official opening of the newly elected Reichstag.
On March 21, in the Garrison Church at Potsdam, the burial place of Frederick the Great, an elaborate ceremony took place designed to ease public concern over Hitler and his gangster-like new regime.
It was attended by President Hindenburg, foreign diplomats, the General Staff and all the old guard going back to the days of the Kaiser. Dressed in their handsome uniforms sprinkled with medals, they watched a most reverent Adolf Hitler give a speech paying respect to Hindenburg and celebrating the union of old Prussian military traditions and the new Nazi Reich. As a symbol of this, the old Imperial flags would soon add swastikas.
Finishing his speech, Hitler walked over to Hindenburg and respectfully bowed before him while taking hold of the old man's hand. The scene was recorded on film and by press photographers from around the world. This was precisely the impression Hitler and Goebbels wanted to give to the world, all the while plotting to toss aside Hindenburg and the elected Reichstag.
Later that same day, Hindenburg signed two decrees put before him by Hitler. The first offered full pardons to all Nazis currently in prison. The prison doors sprang open and out came an assortment of Nazi thugs and murderers.
The second decree signed by the befuddled old man allowed for the arrest of anyone suspected of maliciously criticizing the government and the Nazi party.
A third decree signed only by Hitler and Papen allowed for the establishment of special courts to try political offenders. These courts were conducted in the military style of a court-martial without a jury and usually with no counsel for the defense.
On March 23, the newly elected Reichstag met in the Kroll Opera House in Berlin to consider passing Hitler's Enabling Act. It was officially called the "Law for Removing the Distress of the People and the Reich." If passed, it would in effect vote democracy out of existence in Germany and establish the legal dictatorship of Adolf Hitler.
Brown-shirted Nazi storm troopers swarmed over the fancy old building in a show of force and as a visible threat. They stood outside, in the hallways and even lined the aisles inside, glaring ominously at anyone who might oppose Hitler's will.
Before the vote, Hitler made a speech in which he pledged to use restraint.
"The government will make use of these powers only insofar as they are essential for carrying out vitally necessary measures...The number of cases in which an internal necessity exists for having recourse to such a law is in itself a limited one," Hitler told the Reichstag.
He also promised an end to unemployment and pledged to promote peace with France, Great Britain and the Soviet Union. But in order to do all this, Hitler said, he first needed the Enabling Act. A two-thirds majority was needed, since the law would actually alter the constitution. Hitler needed 31 non-Nazi votes to pass it. He got those votes from the Catholic Center Party after making a false promise to restore some basic rights already taken away by decree.
Meanwhile, Nazi storm troopers chanted outside: "Full powers - or else! We want the bill - or fire and murder!!"
But one man arose amid the overwhelming might. Otto Wells, leader of the Social Democrats stood up and spoke quietly to Hitler.
"We German Social Democrats pledge ourselves solemnly in this historic hour to the principles of humanity and justice, of freedom and socialism. No enabling act can give you power to destroy ideas which are eternal and indestructible."
Hitler was enraged and jumped up to respond.
"You are no longer needed! - The star of Germany will rise and yours will sink! Your death knell has sounded!"
The vote was taken - 441 for, and only 84, the Social Democrats, against. The Nazis leapt to their feet clapping, stamping and shouting, then broke into the Nazi anthem, the Hörst Wessel song.
Democracy was ended. They had brought down the German Democratic Republic legally. From this day onward, the Reichstag would be just a sounding board, a cheering section for Hitler's pronouncements.
Interestingly, the Nazi party was now flooded with applications for membership. These latecomers were cynically labeled by old time Nazis as 'March Violets.' In May, the Nazi Party froze membership. Many of those kept out applied to the SA and the SS which were still accepting. However, in early 1934, Heinrich Himmler would throw out 50,000 of those 'March Violets' from the SS.
The Nazi Gleichschaltung now began, a massive coordination of all aspects of life under the swastika and the absolute leadership of Adolf Hitler.
Under Hitler, the State, not the individual, was supreme.
From the moment of birth one existed to serve the State and obey the dictates of the Führer. Those who disagreed were disposed of.
Many agreed. Bureaucrats, industrialists, even intellectual and literary figures, including Gerhart Hauptmann, world renowned dramatist, were coming out in open support of Hitler.
Many disagreed and left the country. A flood of the finest minds, including over two thousand writers, scientists, and people in the arts poured out of Germany and enriched other lands, mostly the United States. Among them - writer Thomas Mann, director Fritz Lang, actress Marlene Dietrich, architect Walter Gropius, musicians Otto Klemperer, Kurt Weill, Richard Tauber, psychologist Sigmund Freud, and Albert Einstein, who was visiting California when Hitler came to power and never returned to Germany.
In Germany, there were now constant Nazi rallies, parades, marches and meetings amid the relentless propaganda of Goebbels and the omnipresent swastika. For those who remained there was an odd mixture of fear and optimism in the air.
Now, for the first time as dictator, Adolf Hitler turned his attention to the driving force which had propelled him into politics in the first place, his hatred of the Jews. It began with a simple boycott on April 1, 1933, and would end years later in the greatest tragedy in all of human history.
So 25 years later here we are. KICKING!
The March Violets - A Natural History
Hitler Becomes Dictator...
After the elections of March 5, 1933, the Nazis began a systematic takeover of the state governments throughout Germany, ending a centuries old tradition of local political independence. Armed SA and SS thugs barged into local government offices using the state of emergency decree as a pretext to throw out legitimate office holders and replace them with Nazi Reich commissioners.
Political enemies were arrested by the thousands and put in hastily constructed holding pens. Old army barracks and abandoned factories were used as prisons. Once inside, prisoners were subjected to military style drills and harsh discipline. They were often beaten and sometimes even tortured to death. This was the very beginning of the Nazi concentration camp system.
At this time, these early concentration camps were loosely organized under the control of the SA and the rival SS. Many were little more than barbed wire stockades know as 'wild' concentration camps, set up by local Gauleiters and SA leaders.
For Adolf Hitler, the goal of a legally established dictatorship was now within reach. On March 15, 1933, a cabinet meeting was held during which Hitler and Göring discussed how to obstruct what was left of the democratic process to get an Enabling Act passed by the Reichstag. This law would hand over the constitutional functions of the Reichstag to Hitler, including the power to make laws, control the budget and approve treaties with foreign governments.
The emergency decree signed by Hindenburg on February 28, after the Reichstag fire, made it easy for them to interfere with non-Nazi elected representatives of the people by simply arresting them.
As Hitler plotted to bring democracy to an end in Germany, Propaganda Minister Joseph Goebbels put together a brilliant public relations display at the official opening of the newly elected Reichstag.
On March 21, in the Garrison Church at Potsdam, the burial place of Frederick the Great, an elaborate ceremony took place designed to ease public concern over Hitler and his gangster-like new regime.
It was attended by President Hindenburg, foreign diplomats, the General Staff and all the old guard going back to the days of the Kaiser. Dressed in their handsome uniforms sprinkled with medals, they watched a most reverent Adolf Hitler give a speech paying respect to Hindenburg and celebrating the union of old Prussian military traditions and the new Nazi Reich. As a symbol of this, the old Imperial flags would soon add swastikas.
Finishing his speech, Hitler walked over to Hindenburg and respectfully bowed before him while taking hold of the old man's hand. The scene was recorded on film and by press photographers from around the world. This was precisely the impression Hitler and Goebbels wanted to give to the world, all the while plotting to toss aside Hindenburg and the elected Reichstag.
Later that same day, Hindenburg signed two decrees put before him by Hitler. The first offered full pardons to all Nazis currently in prison. The prison doors sprang open and out came an assortment of Nazi thugs and murderers.
The second decree signed by the befuddled old man allowed for the arrest of anyone suspected of maliciously criticizing the government and the Nazi party.
A third decree signed only by Hitler and Papen allowed for the establishment of special courts to try political offenders. These courts were conducted in the military style of a court-martial without a jury and usually with no counsel for the defense.
On March 23, the newly elected Reichstag met in the Kroll Opera House in Berlin to consider passing Hitler's Enabling Act. It was officially called the "Law for Removing the Distress of the People and the Reich." If passed, it would in effect vote democracy out of existence in Germany and establish the legal dictatorship of Adolf Hitler.
Brown-shirted Nazi storm troopers swarmed over the fancy old building in a show of force and as a visible threat. They stood outside, in the hallways and even lined the aisles inside, glaring ominously at anyone who might oppose Hitler's will.
Before the vote, Hitler made a speech in which he pledged to use restraint.
"The government will make use of these powers only insofar as they are essential for carrying out vitally necessary measures...The number of cases in which an internal necessity exists for having recourse to such a law is in itself a limited one," Hitler told the Reichstag.
He also promised an end to unemployment and pledged to promote peace with France, Great Britain and the Soviet Union. But in order to do all this, Hitler said, he first needed the Enabling Act. A two-thirds majority was needed, since the law would actually alter the constitution. Hitler needed 31 non-Nazi votes to pass it. He got those votes from the Catholic Center Party after making a false promise to restore some basic rights already taken away by decree.
Meanwhile, Nazi storm troopers chanted outside: "Full powers - or else! We want the bill - or fire and murder!!"
But one man arose amid the overwhelming might. Otto Wells, leader of the Social Democrats stood up and spoke quietly to Hitler.
"We German Social Democrats pledge ourselves solemnly in this historic hour to the principles of humanity and justice, of freedom and socialism. No enabling act can give you power to destroy ideas which are eternal and indestructible."
Hitler was enraged and jumped up to respond.
"You are no longer needed! - The star of Germany will rise and yours will sink! Your death knell has sounded!"
The vote was taken - 441 for, and only 84, the Social Democrats, against. The Nazis leapt to their feet clapping, stamping and shouting, then broke into the Nazi anthem, the Hörst Wessel song.
Democracy was ended. They had brought down the German Democratic Republic legally. From this day onward, the Reichstag would be just a sounding board, a cheering section for Hitler's pronouncements.
Interestingly, the Nazi party was now flooded with applications for membership. These latecomers were cynically labeled by old time Nazis as 'March Violets.' In May, the Nazi Party froze membership. Many of those kept out applied to the SA and the SS which were still accepting. However, in early 1934, Heinrich Himmler would throw out 50,000 of those 'March Violets' from the SS.
The Nazi Gleichschaltung now began, a massive coordination of all aspects of life under the swastika and the absolute leadership of Adolf Hitler.
Under Hitler, the State, not the individual, was supreme.
From the moment of birth one existed to serve the State and obey the dictates of the Führer. Those who disagreed were disposed of.
Many agreed. Bureaucrats, industrialists, even intellectual and literary figures, including Gerhart Hauptmann, world renowned dramatist, were coming out in open support of Hitler.
Many disagreed and left the country. A flood of the finest minds, including over two thousand writers, scientists, and people in the arts poured out of Germany and enriched other lands, mostly the United States. Among them - writer Thomas Mann, director Fritz Lang, actress Marlene Dietrich, architect Walter Gropius, musicians Otto Klemperer, Kurt Weill, Richard Tauber, psychologist Sigmund Freud, and Albert Einstein, who was visiting California when Hitler came to power and never returned to Germany.
In Germany, there were now constant Nazi rallies, parades, marches and meetings amid the relentless propaganda of Goebbels and the omnipresent swastika. For those who remained there was an odd mixture of fear and optimism in the air.
Now, for the first time as dictator, Adolf Hitler turned his attention to the driving force which had propelled him into politics in the first place, his hatred of the Jews. It began with a simple boycott on April 1, 1933, and would end years later in the greatest tragedy in all of human history.
WTF?
I went to Asda(WALMART-the letters keep getting biggeR) tonight to procure a few essentials and was horrified to learn they were out of common or garden Hoummus. There was no Hoummus, plain simple low fat or full fat Hoummus.
But prey tell what was there instead of common or garden Hoummus???....
Hoummus with roasted red pepper
Hoummus with roasted garlic and pesto
Hoummus with caramelised red onion marmalade
I'm kinda wondering where these Asda aspirations to be Waitrose came from? What happend to a good old social class B1 Hoummus, or is that by definition inverted snobbery?
I know, I know Hoummus is only lemon juice, olive oil, chickpeas and garlic and I COULD make my own(I think last time I nearly accidently rotted someones stomach lining by replacing 4 cloves with 4 bulbs of garlic!Great for the immune system though LOL) but the world is a safer place if I leave the blender alone. Trust me.
So ladies and gents for my tea tonight I had baked beans on toast topped with Hoummus with roasted garlic and pesto(and ketchup) and quite teh yumz in teh tumz it was too. Hey it's a slippery slope...
But prey tell what was there instead of common or garden Hoummus???....
Hoummus with roasted red pepper
Hoummus with roasted garlic and pesto
Hoummus with caramelised red onion marmalade
I'm kinda wondering where these Asda aspirations to be Waitrose came from? What happend to a good old social class B1 Hoummus, or is that by definition inverted snobbery?
I know, I know Hoummus is only lemon juice, olive oil, chickpeas and garlic and I COULD make my own(I think last time I nearly accidently rotted someones stomach lining by replacing 4 cloves with 4 bulbs of garlic!Great for the immune system though LOL) but the world is a safer place if I leave the blender alone. Trust me.
So ladies and gents for my tea tonight I had baked beans on toast topped with Hoummus with roasted garlic and pesto(and ketchup) and quite teh yumz in teh tumz it was too. Hey it's a slippery slope...
Thursday, 6 December 2007
The old familiar sting
I need to stop being a contradictory whinge-bag, how can I complain about loneliness when I've had someone staying for 5 days? Ok, I'm over myself now! Back on the needle-track.
Here's the eponymous Reznor, Hurt-ing:
Respond with ONLY a ONE word response:
1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? none
3. Your hair? fucked
4. Work? Huh?
5. Your father? DeadAndAliveHave2 (ok I cheated on that answer-shoot me:P. ps this is no ref to Pete Burns)
6. Your favorite thing? Rupertcat
7. Your dream last night? sexmagick
8. Your favorite drink? earlgrey
9. Your dream car? chittychittybangbang
10. The room you’re in? kitchen
11. pit: despair
12. Your fears? fleas
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Alive
14. Where did you hang out last night? Home
15. What you’re not good at? Patience
17. One of your wish list items? Book
18. Where you grew up? Horsforth
19. The last thing you did? drove
20. What are you wearing? Pj's
21. What aren’t you wearing? makeup
23. Your computer? freefrommikey (and here!)
24. Your life? Surreal
25. Your mood? blah
26. Missing? wellness
27. What are you thinking about right now? Sat
28. Your car? Ka
29. Your work? *laughs*
30. Your summer? insanity
31. Your relationship status? Vacant
32. Your favorite color? Black
33. When is the last time you laughed? Now
34. Last time you cried? Tues
35. School? Through
Here's the eponymous Reznor, Hurt-ing:
Respond with ONLY a ONE word response:
1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? none
3. Your hair? fucked
4. Work? Huh?
5. Your father? DeadAndAliveHave2 (ok I cheated on that answer-shoot me:P. ps this is no ref to Pete Burns)
6. Your favorite thing? Rupertcat
7. Your dream last night? sexmagick
8. Your favorite drink? earlgrey
9. Your dream car? chittychittybangbang
10. The room you’re in? kitchen
11. pit: despair
12. Your fears? fleas
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Alive
14. Where did you hang out last night? Home
15. What you’re not good at? Patience
17. One of your wish list items? Book
18. Where you grew up? Horsforth
19. The last thing you did? drove
20. What are you wearing? Pj's
21. What aren’t you wearing? makeup
23. Your computer? freefrommikey (and here!)
24. Your life? Surreal
25. Your mood? blah
26. Missing? wellness
27. What are you thinking about right now? Sat
28. Your car? Ka
29. Your work? *laughs*
30. Your summer? insanity
31. Your relationship status? Vacant
32. Your favorite color? Black
33. When is the last time you laughed? Now
34. Last time you cried? Tues
35. School? Through
Bleugh!
A pretty dull few days...half-bro been over and as I wasn't going away he stayed longer(with Heidi the cat), I think I could have done with some alone/recovery time tbh but it's not all about me. We saw Aunty Iris the other day she has ovarian and stomach cancer, so things ain't looking too rosy, I wish I'd been firmer with her sooner about going to the Drs, she's been losing weight since January, she's just never been ill and is a bit stubborn, I never know how much to push people and always worry that I've not done enough. Anyway I've mainly slept these last few days, not been very sociable...I have the lurgy/chest infection. I've totally dropped off my prophy regime, now no more ass bleeding, I still should be doing prophy but I'm not motivated.Last night I found a pack of Keflex anti-biotics kicking about so I'm necking them. Days and Nights of sleep and fevered dreams, they've at least moved from death to sex magick and candle magick ;), AND I've got through part 1 series 1 of Heroes, roll on the 10th December. It's getting to that lonely time of year, haven't had a phone call in days, I'm just holed up ringing no-one either, it's a 2 way street.I'm dreading going back to work, I feel paranoid already and like I'm gonna fuck-up.How can I work 4 days a week when I sleep 12 to 17hours a day. I've got an appointment imminent with the sleep clinic. I woke up 52 times the other night, yet was still feeling exhausted.
Anyway, priorities:
I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.
*Edit* yeeeha! - I WILL BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY! ;)
slashfic Heroes / The Divinyls 'I touch myself' - lovin it :):
Anyway, priorities:
I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.I MUST BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY.
*Edit* yeeeha! - I WILL BE WELL FOR THE MARCH VIOLETS ON SATURDAY! ;)
slashfic Heroes / The Divinyls 'I touch myself' - lovin it :):
Sunday, 2 December 2007
oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head.../I'm in love with a time machine
WAD-Went to the vigil and 'do' was good to see Mark and Jeni and meet Nicki, oh and bump into the man who sits behind me at work LOL! Owen's a nice chap though, we are quite conspiratorial about my loud and obnoxious boss, and Christ his boyf was HOT! We did the vigil inside, which to me defies the objective of awareness and profile raising, but I guess that isn't the whole point of rememberance.It was wadding it down and the German Xmas Market(with fun fair) TOTALLY defies the one minutes silence! A Leeds MP came and gave a bit of a soap-box moment, he's very aware of the national and international HIV and Aids issues and at least we didn't feel his enthusiasm was tokenism. We all went for a couple of bevvies together and then me and Mark headed for The Spice Bar Restaurant, it's one of these crazy all you can eat 3 course buffets with a total selection of hot and cold dishes, my god I ate for England!Was hearing about Marks NYE plans and the rivers of Champagne and food from Berlins equivalent of Harrods Food Hall, oh and the glitter theme, I joked(I'm not joking) that I should get over to Berlin and just sit below their balconies in a semblence of glitter and awe and get the odd tit-bit! He's an inspirational guy. We talked work a bit, which was ok, didn't freak me out too much!
Despite getting to bed afore 2am still didn't wake up til 4.05pm :( and my nose commenced the bleeding...
Tomorrow I have a work Occy Health mtg which I'm dreading as it's at 9.30am !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also my birth mum put on my birthday card 'It would be good to hear from you' and then procedded to write nothing other than 'Happy Birthday', this really irks me. She comes to Leeds once a month (for the last decade) and has NEVER bothered to come and see me, and that my friends makes me feel rejected all over again. I guess I can write to her but I will find it hard to be positive in the letter.
Oh Christ - this is divine a mash-up Kylie's "2 Hearts," a cover version of Goldfrapp's "Strict Machine, The Killers' "Smile Like You Mean It" and The Timelord's "Doctorin The Tardis" LUSTY GENIUS!: http://www.arjanwrites.com/arjanwrites/2007/11/listen-to-fast.html
-Wouldn't that make a better Xmas Number 1 campers?!
SPIDEY CAT!:
*edit* I am teh failz for opening a large box of Scottish butter short-bread. They were meant to be an Xmas pressie for the neighbours.
Despite getting to bed afore 2am still didn't wake up til 4.05pm :( and my nose commenced the bleeding...
Tomorrow I have a work Occy Health mtg which I'm dreading as it's at 9.30am !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also my birth mum put on my birthday card 'It would be good to hear from you' and then procedded to write nothing other than 'Happy Birthday', this really irks me. She comes to Leeds once a month (for the last decade) and has NEVER bothered to come and see me, and that my friends makes me feel rejected all over again. I guess I can write to her but I will find it hard to be positive in the letter.
Oh Christ - this is divine a mash-up Kylie's "2 Hearts," a cover version of Goldfrapp's "Strict Machine, The Killers' "Smile Like You Mean It" and The Timelord's "Doctorin The Tardis" LUSTY GENIUS!: http://www.arjanwrites.com/arjanwrites/2007/11/listen-to-fast.html
-Wouldn't that make a better Xmas Number 1 campers?!
SPIDEY CAT!:
*edit* I am teh failz for opening a large box of Scottish butter short-bread. They were meant to be an Xmas pressie for the neighbours.
Saturday, 1 December 2007
vroom vroom - the leader of the pack
EVEL KNIEVEL DIES November 30, 2007
"Motorcycle daredevil Evel Knievel, whose stunts made him an international icon in the 1970s, died Friday at the age of 69.
Knievel's death was confirmed by his granddaughter, Krysten Knievel. He had been in failing health for years, suffering from diabetes and idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, an incurable condition that scarred his lungs.
Knievel had undergone a liver transplant in 1999 after nearly dying of hepatitis C, likely contracted through a blood transfusion after one of his bone-shattering spills.
The motorcylist was in the news recently after settling a lawsuit against Kayne West. Knievel sued the rapper last year over use of his trademarked image in a popular West music video."
Rest in peace ya crazy fucking bastard, we bleeders were rootin for ya! xxx
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