stranger than mmmm friction (-adult content)

So, today I met the 'therapist' again. No not sex therapy. Although when the Doctor (no not The Doctor but Christ now I'm running with some red hot Dr. no 9/10 imagery...)mentioned CBT my mind blew - blew *snigger*.

After some frivolous serious dialogue trying to ascertain if I am 'okay'(I'm in a therapists office referred by a Psychiatrist DUH), I said "I am okay, but patently not okay ie totally okay obviously, better than I was, but not okay-okay, but not like suicidal-okay". "Right O.K" she said(not Fred). Glad we clarified n'all.

It's suggested that I join a group of similarly and carefully selected top-drawer(stop it)hand-picked nutters to share coping strategies with. Erm I think my healthy contribution may be limited. Coping strategies are oft a little shallow on the ground with teh nutz, and yeah I'm generalising again. So what can I contribute to the group:
1,cope by avoiding reality AT ALL COSTS
2,pepper your world with Obsessions and Fantasies(sci-fi, sexual, object, music, Morrissey, lifestyle), take your pic. I give them capitalisation because they are nearly as important as people, or places, or ketchup.
3, Never leave the house without a gas-mask.
4, Make sure the letterbox is straight (and double check that. Did you check, yes, no? see point 5) before stepping into the world else it might be the catastrophic butterfly flaps(ha ha) to my KAOS APOCALYPSE theory.
5, Be PARANOID. Just because you're paranoid DOESN'T mean they are not after you.
6, Only date people more NUTZ than you, by the time you've sorted their meds, got the injunction, checked which sock they put on first, re-arrange the order of toothbrushes, filled in a missing persons report, talked the paraniod theories down, rang the New Zealand succibi pimped for by your partners parents, fucked the manic out of the manic depressive in a manic episode and hidden all the kitchen implements and pens you'll feel totally fucking normal. Oh yes, really.
7, Drink copiously- water at allegedly at 2 litres a day cures all ill. Add nothing to it but a label and you have homeopathy-TA DAH! wHICH TRANSLATES AS (oops cant be bothered re-typing with caps lock off)you have the cornucopia of health benefits at the whim of your every atom.
8, And inhale nitrous oxide (even Tipp-Ex, er white spirit... pickled cabbage) at every juncture.
9, Be indecisive, period.
10, sing kareoke, at home, alone.
11, go to Ikea and think of all the kinky possibilities of the flark jiving ya bertby over the meatballs and kklingonberry soup. I swear they sell stirrups, spanking stools and percusive ar$e instruments.
12, take drugs and climb up buildings-hang on, do that in some lurvely furry cossie and you can join dads want justine or whatever they are called.
1CAREFUL, never ever write that number, even in Maths GCSE.
14, Just because we can't stop at the previous number shhhhhhhhh! Oh I've just remembered, play with cats or kids or chinchillas - just don't let them die on you.


Why don't we cut out the middle women and just get the well-adjusted to explain what the fuck this life is all about?

I NEED ANSWERS, THEY CATAGORICALLY DO NOT LIE WITHIN.